Thinking about faith…

I told you that I would write on Mondays.  Like it was something I had to do.  So I made the rule for myself: Mondays are for writing.  But that’s the thing about setting rules for yourself.  Once you set them, you always want to break them.  “No eating sugar,” “No cussing,” “Get up early and go for a walk,” “No more coffee – only tea.”  So, maybe it’s just best if I do whatever I please – as that’s always been the “best” thing for me, in my opinion.  Why I continue to set rules for myself, I’ll never know.  When I don’t have rules set for myself, I mindlessly follow them.  It’s when I feel like I have to – that’s when trouble ensues.  I don’t even want to think about what that says about me…

I’m reading Peace Like a River right now.  It is the best book I have ever read, thus far.  I say thus far, because obviously, I haven’t finished it.  But there’s something about this book that’s difficult to describe – but I feel like the author understands me and the innerworkings of my mind in a way that even I can’t describe.  And yet, he does.  Beautifully.  On paper.  If I weren’t so opposed to sounding corny and cheesy, I’d say something like, “It feels like the narrator of the story is my soul-friend.”  I can’t say soul-mate, you see, as I think people would see that and think, “Forgive me, but that’s just too much.”

This morning, as I was up before the sun (because I told myself that I could and would sleep as late as I wanted to), I was reading and watching the dark grey sky turn to a light grey sky, the author described a trip the family was taking – (too many details and I’ll spoil it for you) – but he was comparing their life to that of the Israelites and how they had to walk by faith. It’s not necessarily a ‘Christian’ book, but rather, a book in which the characters are believers in Christ.  I so prefer that.  Anyway, I’ll quote one of the lines that I felt hit the nail on the head – in terms of how I think and feel – and how I became so much more aware of it when he worded it this way: “Once traveling, it’s remarkable how quickly faith erodes.  It starts to look like something else – ignorance, for example.  Same thing happened to the Israelites.  Sure it’s weak, but sometimes, you’d rather just have a map.”